Heal (His Command Book 4) Read online

  Fuck.

  “I remember,” Gabriel whispered.

  “Then you know that there’s nothing to worry about.” Adrian locked eyes with Cedric. “Because if he does anything to you that you don’t want him to do, then he’ll have to answer to me.”

  Gabriel folded his arms over his chest protectively, his hands braced on either arm. Cedric remained where he was, studying, learning, and trying his hardest to get over the knee-jerk reaction to step in and make things right.

  “We wanted to let you take some time to get to know Cedric in a safe setting,” Sterling said. “He’s here for you.”

  Gabriel wouldn’t look up anymore. He shifted his weight from foot to foot, his slender hips swaying slightly. Cedric bit down on his lip as he watched. Whatever witchcraft Gabriel was using, it was working like a charm. He fidgeted with the sleeve of his sweater and rubbed the heel of one foot nervously against the other. “I don’t…”

  “You don’t what?” Adrian asked, keeping his tone soft and light.

  Before Gabriel could answer, the distant cry of an infant ended their conversation. Sterling lifted his chin and dropped his hand from Adrian’s back. He kissed Adrian on the top of the head. “I’ll get her. Can I leave you here with Cedric and Gabriel?”

  “Yeah. Sure.” Adrian’s eyes narrowed as he looked in Cedric’s direction. “I’ve got this.”

  Sterling took his leave, and Cedric found himself alone with the Lowe brothers. Physically, their shared heritage was obvious. Gabriel was a touch more slender and delicate—classically beautiful—while the years had hardened Adrian and lent him subtle touches of masculinity, but there was no mistaking them for anything but brothers. But where Gabriel was meek and quick to try to hide himself from everything and everyone, Adrian did not back down. He took a step forward and planted himself in front of Gabriel, shielding him behind his shoulder and looking Cedric dead in the eyes. “Before I let the two of you talk, I have to lay down some ground rules.”

  Cedric wiped the emotion from his face and kept his hands in his pockets, hoping against hope that Adrian wouldn’t catch the scent of his arousal in the air, or spot the semi he was doing his best to conceal. “I’ll listen, but you have to understand that what you want will never be more important to me than what Gabriel wants.”

  Adrian’s eyes narrowed. “Gabriel is my brother, and he’s a Lowe. You will treat him with respect.”

  “Of course.” The casual way Cedric spoke seemed to set Adrian off. He scowled and took a small step forward, so Cedric added, “I hadn’t planned anything but.”

  “If I hear that you are mistreating him, or that you’re using him, I will end you.” Adrian stepped away to stand at Gabriel’s side. He reached out and set a hand on the small of Gabriel’s back to direct him forward. “We might be giving him to you for now, but you need to remember that when it comes down to it, he belongs to us.”

  The intensity in Adrian’s voice was in total juxtaposition with the way Gabriel dodged his gaze. The Lowe brothers may have looked similar, but when it came to personality, they were entirely different. To break a man like Adrian, Cedric could understand. But Gabriel? Gabriel was quiet and compliant. Gentle to a fault. Why was this a job Sterling thought only he could do? Any Dom could bend Gabriel to his will with little effort.

  There had to be something more.

  Gabriel took a few, rushed steps forward at Adrian’s insistence. His fingers curled up to pick and pull at the sleeve of his sweater. Without looking up from his feet, he attempted conversation. “Hello, Sir.”

  He might as well have punched Cedric in the gut for how those two simple words struck him. The headspace he needed to slip into was hard to get to when every little thing Gabriel did distracted him so much. Cedric did as best he could to get there regardless. “Hello, Gabriel.”

  There was a tiny noise as air hitched in Gabriel’s throat. If Cedric hadn’t been so focused on him, he never would have heard it. Everything Gabriel did was timid—Cedric would need to pay close attention to his body language to make sure he didn’t overstep any boundaries.

  Adrian was starting to prickle—Cedric saw it in the way he broadened his shoulders and stood up straighter—so Cedric directed the conversation toward action. “Let’s go somewhere we can sit. There’s no need to keep standing in the hallway.”

  “Great idea.” Sterling had returned with his daughter. She’d quieted down, her eyes closed as she nursed on a bottle. Tiny hands wrapped around the plastic, helping Sterling hold it in place. “The living room is just around the corner. Gabriel, if you would direct your guest, it would be appreciated.”

  Cedric met Sterling’s eyes to find Sterling looking directly at him, resolute. It wasn’t disappointment he found lurking behind Sterling’s blues, but permission. Permission that didn’t matter. No matter how Sterling urged him to take immediate control, Cedric couldn’t. Consent was more important to him than landing a job. He would push gently, but if Gabriel didn’t want him, he wouldn’t go through with it, no matter what Sterling wanted.

  A niggling part of his mind told him that this was all a test to see how far he’d be willing to compromise his morals in order to land a job. Cedric hoped he wasn’t too far from the truth. Sterling was a gentleman Dom, and one of the most patient and understanding men in the community. It was uncharacteristic of him to push for something so obviously wrong.

  Cedric didn’t have much longer to think on the issue. Gabriel, who stood before him, took a half-step forward and lifted his head just enough to meet Cedric’s gaze. All the air in Cedric’s lungs found its way out, and he exhaled slowly and steadily even as his body screamed for him to take a breath. Gabriel bit down on his bottom lip, then glanced to the side and nodded in the direction of the hallway. “Will you please come with me, Sir?”

  “Yes.” There was no way he could say anything but that. Cedric’s mouth spoke on autopilot, his tongue navigating a word that should have been familiar like it was his first attempt at speaking another language. The delivery was flawless, but the sensation was strange. Cedric chased it out of his mouth by following it up with a few more words. “Of course.”

  Gabriel’s gaze lingered on him for a second longer than it should have, and in that second, Cedric felt the intensity of their sudden chemistry tighten in his chest and plunge down his spine like water rushing down a cliff face. The physical attraction was there, and it was stronger than any Cedric had felt in years, but no matter how hard it struck, he could not let it win.

  This was a job. Gabriel was a client. Cedric would care for him in whatever ways Gabriel needed, but to get his emotions involved?

  It couldn’t happen.

  Gabriel reached forward and took his hand. The skin-to-skin contact shot sparks down Cedric’s arm and jolted him from his thoughts to ground him in the moment.

  He was in Sterling’s penthouse, in the hallway, holding hands with the young omega he was meant to dominate for the next several months.

  The same omega who looked at him with shy blue eyes that hid pain.

  The same omega who made him feel things he’d thought he’d never feel again.

  Cedric swallowed hard and returned Gabriel’s gaze. It wasn’t met for long. Gabriel glanced away, frightened, and just like that, led the way.

  Hello, Rabbit. It’s time to let me in.

  Cedric followed him down the hall in silence.

  5

  Cedric

  Around the corner from the hallway was Sterling’s living room. Dark wood paired with luxurious leather and strategically placed track lighting to create a space both masculine and tastefully brooding. Gabriel led Cedric to one of the leather couches before letting go of his hand. Gabriel sat on the couch, knees together and elbows tucked in. The attempt to make himself as small as possible worked—pressed into the arm of the couch like he was, he was barely there.

  Adrian, who’d followed along behind them, took the spot right next to Gabriel. Sterling stood not all that
far behind Cedric, rocking his daughter slowly in one arm. It looked like this was how the conversation was going to go. Cedric didn’t mind—in fact, he was grateful. Sitting next to Gabriel would have proved too great a distraction, and right now, he needed to keep his head in the game.

  Cedric opened his mouth to speak, but as he did, Gabriel surprised him by taking initiative. “Why are you doing this to me?”

  The question wasn’t directed at him, but the content was. Cedric would not stand by and allow his image to be negatively impacted by false understandings. “I’m not doing anything to you. I won’t do anything until I know that you want this, too.”

  Gabriel and Adrian looked at him in unison. Two sets of eyes, blue and gray, searched his face for different things. Adrian looked for motive, his lips tight with distrust and his eyes narrowed with suspicion. But Gabriel? Gabriel looked at him in confusion, like the thought that he could turn Cedric down had never crossed his mind before. The confusion was brief, and it blipped out of existence the second Gabriel ducked his head and crossed his arms over his stomach like he was sick. Cedric wished he could have held that gaze a little longer.

  “Cedric is here to take care of you, Gabriel. He can provide you with the care that you need.” Sterling spoke with calm conviction. “Now that you’ve left Stonecrest, you need structure that Adrian and I can’t hope to provide you with. You need a caretaker—someone who will see to it that your needs are met, and who will encourage you to live your life to its fullest potential. Cedric will help you if you let him. The choice, ultimately, belongs to you.”

  Gabriel stared at his lap. Eventually, he uncrossed his arms and ran his hands nervously down his thighs. Then, with a tiny sigh that sounded loud in the silence of the room, he looked up at Sterling. The emotion in Gabriel’s eyes was muted, as if he wasn’t there anymore. “… Okay.”

  It wasn’t right. Consent didn’t work like that. Cedric looked between Gabriel and Sterling, judging the dynamic between them. He didn’t know much about Gabriel’s past—just that he’d gone missing during the summer after Cedric had graduated—but by that point, Cedric was already college-bound, and he’d fallen out of touch with his old group of friends. Now he wished he’d looked into what had happened that summer instead of letting it fall by the wayside.

  What was going on in Gabriel’s head? What experiences had shaped him into the timid young man who tried his best to meld with the couch and disappear? The confusion in Gabriel’s eyes when Cedric had been kind toward him was abnormal. No person should have to think that others were out to hurt him first and foremost. The world was a dark place, but it wasn’t that cruel. Cedric had seen suffering, but even when life had taken what he held closest to his heart, he still hadn’t lost faith in others.

  Not like Gabriel had.

  The tiny “okay” that Gabriel had given Sterling wasn’t good enough for him. If Cedric was going to do this job, he needed to know that he was doing it right—and that meant that he needed an answer from Gabriel directly, no matter how timid Gabriel was.

  Determination clenched in Cedric’s chest, as cautious as it was concerned. It rounded itself off with softness, seeping through his core and rushing through his veins. It swelled with urgency, ballooning until he couldn’t ignore it anymore. It pushed him to take action, and so he did.

  Propelled by instinct, he closed the short distance between himself and Gabriel. All eyes turned to him, but Gabriel’s were the only ones that mattered.

  Cedric dropped to a knee at Gabriel’s feet, careful not to touch him. The tension in the room rose, but Gabriel’s stunned wide eyes grounded Cedric in the moment. There was nothing holding Cedric back any longer—not even the startling attraction he felt for Gabriel made a difference anymore. No one else could tell him what he needed to know. If he didn’t take initiative, there would be no resolution.

  His omega would consent to the treatment he was about to receive. Cedric would not have it any other way.

  “Gabriel.” Cedric’s voice did not waver. He let the utterance hang between them, hoping it would drag Gabriel down from his panic like an anchor through open water. “I need you to understand that everything I do, I do out of respect for you. If you don’t want this—if you don’t think it’s right, or if you feel like you’re being taken advantage of—we will call it off right now, no questions asked. I need to know that I’m doing this for you, not for anyone else.”

  Gabriel’s eyes stayed on him, lidded now instead of wide with shock. He bit down on his bottom lip and shifted his thighs. “For me, Sir?”

  “For you,” Cedric promised. He refused to look away. “All for you, Gabriel. Every last action, and every last word.”

  No one moved. No one spoke. The air between them sizzled—Cedric couldn’t deny it any more than he could deny the air he breathed. Gabriel may have been a job, but Cedric meant every word.

  It didn’t come down to attraction. It didn’t come down to how fast his heart beat, or how hard his dick was. It was a matter of making sure that a young man who didn’t seem to have much agency got the care he deserved.

  “I…” Gabriel looked nervously off to the side, then stared at his thighs again. Cedric could still see the blues of his irises through his lashes. “I… need to think, is that… is that okay, Sir?”

  “Yes.” Cedric did not move from where he knelt. Since Gabriel did not feel comfortable, he would keep a lower, submissive position in order to boost his confidence. Whatever answer he received, he needed it to be said out of sincerity, not out of fear. “It’s a big decision to make. You can take your time.”

  “Thank you.” Gabriel’s voice was so small that it was barely there, but with a single flick of his eyes, he stole a glance at Cedric that made Cedric’s heart skip a beat. “I need to… I need to go think alone, okay?”

  “Of course.” Reality was restored, and Cedric realized they weren’t alone in the room—Sterling stood behind him, a silent, protective force, and Adrian sat next to Gabriel on the couch, his expression unreadable. This was their penthouse, Cedric remembered. They had the final say. “As long as it’s fine with Sterling and Adrian.”

  “It’s more than fine.” Sterling’s footsteps approached, and Cedric felt the air move behind him as Sterling stood close. “Think about your options, Gabriel. If this isn’t the path you want, then we will find another for you.”

  Gabriel said nothing, but he nodded. Careful not to step on Cedric, he picked himself up from the couch with cat-like grace from the couch and slunk toward the far hallway. Cedric rose from the floor and watched him go, uncertain how to feel. He’d put himself on the line standing up for Gabriel like that, but was it worth it? Gabriel didn’t make the answer obvious.

  A door shut down the hall, breaking the tension. Cedric exhaled slowly. What was done, was done. The decision was in Gabriel’s hands now, and all Cedric could do was trust he’d make the choice truest to his heart.

  6

  Gabriel

  There was no space in the house for him anymore—no place with a door that could close and lock like Gabriel wanted—so he fled to the bathroom. The door clicked into place behind him, and he twisted the lock shut before anyone could tell him to come out and quit being so bad.

  No one understood. No one could understand.

  Gabriel didn’t want to be bad, but Sir?

  Sir made it very, very tempting.

  Miserable, Gabriel crossed the room and sank into the bathtub. His clothed legs stretched out across the white porcelain, and for a while, he stared at his knees. Knobby. Slender. Unappealing. They still stung from minutes ago, when he’d fallen to the floor in an attempt to escape from Adrian.

  Escaping never made things better—it had only ever made things worse. He should have known. Garrison had taught him that lesson five long years ago.

  Garrison.

  With a groan, Gabriel tucked his knees to his chest and curled up on himself against the edge of the tub. Sir’s green eyes had distracted
Gabriel from what mattered, and that was wrong of him. His first priority in all things was to return to the man he belonged to—and no matter what Sterling and Adrian said, he did not belong to Sir.

  Sir, with his green eyes and dark, dark hair that made Gabriel think night couldn’t even compare. Sir, who looked so different from all the other alphas Gabriel had serviced in The White Lotus and met casually after coming to stay with Adrian and Sterling. Sir, whose bottom lip was pierced on each side with two tiny black balls that caught the light and somehow made him look even more handsome. Sir, who’d looked at him with kindness, like he deserved respect.

  Gabriel shivered and tightened his arms around his knees. Arousal stirred inside of him, unwanted but undeniable. The way Sir looked at him made him feel like… well. To be honest, Gabriel didn’t know. The last thing he wanted to think about was how another man made him feel, because he didn’t belong to any other man—he belonged to Garrison.

  But Garrison was lost. Gone. In trouble with the law. And Gabriel wasn’t going to get anywhere if he stayed in Adrian’s penthouse, in the tiny not-a-room with no privacy. If he wanted to get out and find Garrison, he’d have to be brave. He’d have to break rules.

  He’d have to be bad so he could be good.

  There was conversation going on in the other room. The sound of Sterling’s voice was a hum in the air, dark and melodic, always sure of itself. Sir’s voice followed, a different brand of dominant, but certain in the things it said. It was sleek gunmetal—dark, but nuanced. It shone against the voices it accompanied, distinguished and unyielding. For a little while longer, it was a voice Gabriel would listen to.

  He could do that.