Heal (His Command Book 4) Page 5

  It was a good voice.

  With a deep, grounding breath, Gabriel let go of his knees and rose from the tub. His legs trembled, and as he walked, he shook them out to try to regain himself. As long as he was with Adrian, nothing bad would happen. He’d seen the narrowed look in Adrian’s eyes when Sterling had brought Sir into the penthouse, and he knew that no matter what Sterling said, Adrian wouldn’t let Sir hurt him. Where Gabriel was weak, Adrian was strong. If Gabriel needed to ask for help, Adrian would be there to help him.

  There was nothing to be worried about.

  Gabriel unlocked the bathroom door and made his way down the hall. The door to Sterling’s old office was left open, and as he passed, he glimpsed the crib Lilian slept in. For a second, he came to a stop and observed the empty room from the doorway.

  A mobile hung over Lilian’s crib. It spun slowly, entertaining no one. The room’s walls were covered with drawings—not Lilian’s, but some other child’s. Gabriel didn’t know if Sterling had other children or not, but he assumed so, just by looking at the decor. On the wall was a collage featuring photos of Adrian, Sterling, and Lilian all together.

  Adrian, graduating college with his degree in business.

  Adrian, moments before his first day of work as a division director with Sterling and Lilian there by his side.

  Adrian, crying in that very room as Sterling proposed…

  Gabriel frowned and looked away. The room reminded him of all the things he wanted but that he’d never been allowed to have. He’d given his body away for Garrison more times than he could count, but no matter how many times he’d been good, Garrison had always told him the same thing.

  We’re not going to have a baby yet, Gabriel. You’re too beautiful to swell with life. You need to be patient and wait.

  Gabriel had never understood the connection between his beauty and his ability to bear Garrison a child, but he hated it. Every time Garrison gave him contraceptives, he felt that much more unloved. Garrison was old—well into his fifties—and Gabriel knew that they wouldn’t have much longer to make a family before Garrison was too old to properly care for his children. He hadn’t been expecting the bust at The White Lotus, but when it had happened, it had almost felt like fate. They’d put off having a family for too long, and now the universe was dividing them for their sins.

  …And it had given the baby Gabriel wanted to his brother instead.

  But soon, it wouldn’t matter. Gabriel would march back into the living room, present himself obediently to Sir, and tell Sir that he was ready to be taken away. Sir expected him to be meek—which he was—but he didn’t know Gabriel like Adrian did, and he was already too kind to lock Gabriel in a room at night, or barricade the doors with combination locks like the man without a name had after he’d taken Gabriel from The White Lotus. He wouldn’t chain Gabriel to the bed, or bind his hands behind his back so they were useless all day until he was supervised again. As soon as they were on their own, Gabriel would find the perfect moment, and then he’d escape. No one would be there to stop him.

  He’d figure out a way to get to jail, and he’d reunite with Garrison.

  They’d finally be a family.

  Heat spread across his cheeks. He opened his eyes to observe the nursery, imagining the future. One day, he’d have a room like that for his own baby. He’d be a good father. He was compassionate, and quiet, and nurturing. But what he was most excited for was how much more Garrison would love him once he proved his devotion. A baby would be the glue that Gabriel had never managed to be on his own.

  A baby would make Garrison stay.

  No more late-night visits to other omegas under his employ. No more anyone else.

  Gabriel would be Garrison’s, and Garrison would be Gabriel’s, and they would be happy.

  Given enough time, Adrian would come to like Garrison, too, Gabriel knew. It didn’t matter what Adrian thought of him now—when he saw how Garrison made him happy, he would come around. If that happened, Gabriel could show Adrian and Sterling how a real relationship between an alpha and an omega was supposed to work, and then maybe they could all get along. No one would have to hurt anymore. It was the happily ever after Gabriel had always wanted, and now that The White Lotus was no more, it was within his grasp. Garrison would come to his senses, Sir would leave, and Adrian would finally understand.

  The future would be perfect—but only if Gabriel had the courage to step into the living room and treat Sir like Sir wanted to be treated. He’d have to be brave for just a little while longer. For Garrison, it wasn’t much to ask.

  Faith in his plan renewed, Gabriel left Lilian’s doorway and went to join the others in the living room.

  He could do this.

  He would do this.

  For him.

  7

  Cedric

  “This isn’t going to work.” Adrian stood in front of the couch, his arms crossed. He glared through Cedric at Sterling, who stood by Cedric’s shoulder. “I know that he needs help, and I know that traditional therapy isn’t getting him there, but… but this? Sterling, I love you, but you are insane.”

  “Cedric is a professional, Adrian.”

  “And I could call myself a professional Dom, too, if I decided to charge you to ride on my dick when we play.” Adrian’s lips were tight with anger, but he kept his voice level. No matter how respectful his tone, the words stung, and Cedric refused to let them pass him by without comment.

  “I understand that you’re under a lot of stress right now, and that Gabriel is your younger brother, but what he decides to do with his life is none of your business.” Adrian’s wrath turned on Cedric, but Cedric didn’t let it intimidate him. No matter how much Adrian wanted to shelter his brother, he couldn’t keep Gabriel under his thumb forever. “I was invited here to meet an omega who might be interested in my services. Whether or not you think you think my profession is valid doesn’t change that.”

  “You don’t understand who Gabriel is,” Adrian hissed back. “You don’t understand the pain he’s gone through, or the burdens he’s shouldering.”

  Cedric didn’t flinch. “But I will, so long as he gives me the chance.”

  Before the conversation could grow any more charged, Sterling stepped between them. “I vetted him before the interview, Adrian. I understand your concern, but I promise you, you’re worrying for nothing. Cedric is a professional who’s spent his career specializing in omega services. He understands omega needs better than any other man out there.”

  “And the counselors at Stonecrest know omegas, too, and look how well that turned out.” Adrian shook his head. “I know that he needs help, but we need to think of something else. We can’t leave him with…” Adrian’s gaze flicked to Cedric, and he trailed off.

  “With me?” Cedric asked softly.

  There was no response.

  It wasn’t Cedric’s place to assure Adrian that he was the right man for the job. The best course of action for Gabriel’s care wasn’t up for him to decide, but he’d been asked to take this job, and he would not let his competence be thrown into question. The more he listened, the more he understood that Gabriel wasn’t like his typical clients. The pain in his eyes and the fear in his posture led Cedric to believe that he was damaged, and to hear he’d spent time at Stonecrest confirmed it. Omegas who went through rehabilitation considered themselves lesser, and while Cedric wasn’t sure he could change Gabriel’s mindset, he was certain that he could inflate his self-confidence and guide him to a headspace where growth was possible. “I know that I’m not a mental health professional, and I understand that you’re concerned for Gabriel’s wellbeing while under my care.” Cedric looked between Adrian and Sterling, reading their body language. Adrian was on edge, as always—it looked like time didn’t change everything—but Sterling’s posture was loose and open. He was the one who’d invited Cedric here, after all. It was natural that he’d be receptive to what Cedric had to say. “Now that I understand the situation
a little better, I understand your concerns… but I want you to know that I’m not blowing smoke up your ass when I tell you that I want to do this.”

  “Why?” Adrian’s eyes narrowed, and he stepped forward. He was slender and lithe, almost twink-like, but his personality made him seem bigger than he was. “We haven’t spoken since our senior year in high school. You don’t owe my family any debt, and it’s not like we’re friends. We hung around in the same group of people, that’s all. So why is this so important to you? You’re looking to use him, aren’t you? To make him into some kind of…” Adrian ended the thought prematurely and shook his head in disgust. “There’s got to be something that’s made you agree to this, and I want to know what it is.”

  Out of the corner of his eye, Cedric watched Sterling. Adrian was, he assumed, Sterling’s partner, and Cedric didn’t want to push too hard or upset either of them. “I just want to help him, that’s all.”

  “Bullshit!” Adrian raised his voice, then glanced toward Sterling and the baby in his arms and shook his head. When he spoke next, it was with low-simmering rage. “People don’t just help people like that. Not… not when it comes to a situation like this. You want Gabriel on your own because you see an opportunity. I want you to tell me exactly what it is you’re planning.”

  “If you want to know, I’ll tell you.” Cedric had nothing to hide. He dug his hands into his pockets and relaxed his shoulders. “What I plan for Gabriel is simple. Submission.”

  “That’s it?” Adrian crossed his arms and stood a little taller, as if by doing so, he could intimidate Cedric into telling the truth. “That’s all you have to say?”

  “What more do I need to say?” Cedric allowed himself to smile. He kept the things he said simple and understated, but he hoped that Adrian would see the intent behind his words. “I’m not here to hurt him. Sterling hired me to do a job, and I take what I do seriously. This is my career, and Sterling has the power to make me or break me. I’m not going to throw away everything I’ve worked so hard for so I can screw the Lowe family over.”

  Adrian didn’t look convinced. “I don’t believe you.”

  “Then you’re welcome to watch.” Cedric shrugged. “I don’t care what kind of check-ins you want to arrange, or what kind of scenarios you want me to satisfy, as long as I’m able to do my job and do it well. For the next few months, as long as Gabriel consents to it, I will be the only one caring for Gabriel, and he will listen to my word. That’s all.”

  “I do consent,” a tiny voice said from the hall. Cedric looked over his shoulder to find Gabriel leaning against the wall, one ankle crossed over the other. His head was bowed, and the golden-brown hair that crowned his head fell in front of his lowered eyes. “I want to go with Sir.”

  All conversation stopped. All eyes looked at the tiny omega in the hallway. With his refined features and his girlish grace, he looked younger than he was, but to Cedric, no matter his age or his status, his word was law.

  “When will I go?” Gabriel asked. He looked up shyly, dodging Cedric’s eyes to look at Adrian. “I just got home, but… home isn’t home anymore. Everything is different. I don’t want to get comfortable here only to be uprooted again.”

  “Of course not.” Adrian swept into action, abandoning Cedric to fall into place at Gabriel’s side. “If you want to go, then you can go. Sterling and Cedric are going to get the details set up, and then that’ll be that.”

  The dynamic shifted. Adrian’s anger and distrust was swept aside, dispelled by Gabriel’s presence. Cedric took note of it and stored the detail away in his memory—knowing who Gabriel was closest with might help him understand where he was coming from, and getting into Gabriel’s head was key if he was to do what was being asked of him.

  As Cedric watched, Sterling set a hand on his shoulder. He leaned forward and spoke into Cedric’s ear so as not to interrupt Adrian and Gabriel. “Adrian loves to argue, but at his core, it’s because he’s frightened. His brother means the world to him, and he doesn’t know you in the way I do.”

  “What way is that?” Cedric asked. In front of him, Gabriel latched onto Adrian and hugged him tightly. He looked at him from over Adrian’s shoulder, and for a second, their eyes met. The lingering look sent shivers down Cedric’s spine.

  “I think you know the answer to that better than you’re letting on.” Sterling’s hand dropped from his shoulder, and when he spoke again, volume had returned to his voice. “Since Gabriel’s in agreement, arrangements will need to be made. Cedric, if you could follow me into my office, we’ll take care of finalizing the details. I’ve had a contract drafted by my legal team, and you’ll need to read over it and discuss any addenda with me before we put ink to paper.”

  “Right. Of course.” Cedric looked away from Gabriel to watch as Sterling passed him. When he looked back, Gabriel’s eyes were closed, and he’d tucked himself against Adrian’s chest. A pang of regret struck. In the small, intimate interactions between them, Cedric got a glimpse into who Gabriel was. Losing an opportunity like that stung, like he’d turned Gabriel away when he’d needed him the most.

  But there would be other chances and other opportunities to make things right. Once the terms were set and the contract was signed, Gabriel’s care would be his responsibility.

  Cedric would see those sad, distant eyes fill up with wonder again.

  8

  Gabriel

  Gabriel felt small in the passenger seat of Sir’s Toyota Camry. He pushed himself against the door and gazed out the window as the scenery passed him by. Tall, imposing buildings gave way to quieter urban streets, until they emerged in a sleepy part of Aurora that Gabriel wasn’t familiar with. Somewhere west of the city, he knew. By the looks of it, it was on the outskirts of downtown—the monolithic buildings were still visible on the skyline—but it lacked the hustle and bustle of busy downtown streets. If he was being honest with himself, though, Gabriel barely noticed the change—he was too busy stealing peeks at Sir whenever he was sure his attention was devoted to the road.

  Dark hair. Rugged features and a handsome chin that complemented a smooth, kind face. A body that was muscular, but that was still slender and agile enough to be lithe. Piercings…

  Gabriel’s eyes traced the tiny rounded tops of Sir’s snakebite piercings, then traveled to the three helix piercings in succession down the ridge of his right ear. There was an earring through Sir’s lobe, thicker in diameter than normal earrings were meant to be, and sleek black. It curled into itself like a fiddlehead, its tail jutting forward from beneath Sir’s lobe, and its rounded tip left to curl so that it barely brushed his ear.

  “Are you interested in body modification, Gabriel?” Sir asked abruptly, his eyes set dead ahead.

  Gabriel’s cheeks burned with embarrassment. All this time, he’d been sure Sir’s attention was on the road. “I-I’m sorry, Sir.”

  “For what?”

  “For staring.”

  Sir chuckled. “If it bothered me, I would have let you know. Don’t apologize unless I tell you that you’ve made a mistake.”

  “Yes, Sir.” Gabriel sank into his seat and looked out the window as his pulse raced and his instincts urged him to run. He couldn’t. Not yet. He’d have to be good until he had a solid plan in place.

  A beat of silence passed, during which Sir made a turn. The air was fresher here, and it didn’t take Gabriel long to figure out why—a natural preserve bordered the street, filled with old, deciduous trees whose leaves were starting to turn vibrant fall shades as the crisp air threatened to give way to winter. The burgundy and crimson and orange spotting the otherwise green foliage put Gabriel’s mind to rest, and some of his anxiety slipped away.

  It was peaceful here.

  Even though they were near the chaos of the city, he didn’t hear a single siren. No traffic rushed by them, and no horns blared. They crossed paths with a few other motorists on the way down the street, but the urgency Gabriel associated with city driving was gone. Apart
from one time when he was only eleven, when the Lowe family had left Aurora to vacation in a resort in the Caribbean, Gabriel had never known quiet like this. It spoke to some deep, dormant part of him that lifted its head like an old dog who’d heard his master’s car roll down the driveway.

  This place, wherever it was, was good.

  He tried not to think about the fact that he could feel that way when Garrison wasn’t around. The counselors at Stonecrest had done their best to tell him that he was independent, but Gabriel didn’t believe them. Without Garrison there to put his life in order, nothing was good.

  Nothing but this forest, and Sir.

  “You know,” Sir said as he flicked on his turn signal and pulled into a driveway opposite the preserve, “You never answered my question. Are you interested in body modification?”

  “No, sir,” Gabriel murmured. It wasn’t the truth, but it was a safe answer. He knew not to burden those around him with unnecessary detail.

  The truth was, Gabriel had never considered body modification before. Not seriously, at least. Sometimes, Garrison had taken some of the boys to be tattooed or pierced when they’d been good enough to deserve it. The end results were pretty, but Gabriel didn’t see the point of going through pain for something that he’d likely grow tired of over time. Sir’s piercings were nice, and they suited him, but Gabriel couldn’t imagine he’d ever look pretty with metal puncturing his skin. It would make him too red, too swollen, and too bold. The more he faded away into the background, the better.

  But maybe having something shiny and unique might be nice. It had crossed Gabriel’s mind more than once that maybe the reason Garrison hadn’t devoted himself to their relationship was because Gabriel was so boring and plain.

  “That’s a shame.” Sir brought the car to a stop inside a carport. A cheerfully white side door awaited their arrival no more than a few feet away. “While we’re unpacking, tell me about some of the things you like. I want to get to know you better.”